I’m still here, hanging on by my finger trips & swinging over the crevice (as my gynaecologist puts it). Apparently I’m 1 in 800,000 or so and each successive ‘adverse outcome’ makes others more likely. I’ve had two complete recurrent miscarriage panels drawn this pregnancy - one at 6 weeks one at 10 - all completely normal, nothing even borderline. No thrombophilia, no APS, we’re both ‘apparently normal’ chromosomally, progesterone/testosterone/prolactin levels are all normal. My notes from the last IVF cycle have been reviewed, they don’t believe there’s an egg quality issues, PCOS has been ruled out. I even repeated the NKs … normal. I’m normal but unlucky.

As a concession to ‘our lack of knowledge’ I’m staying on the heparin until 14 weeks (I’ve been off the prednisolone since 11 weeks) and aspirin (150mg) throughout the pregnancy. She (gynae) made some interesting points about the effect of multiple losses on fertility and subsequent pregnancies - not the ‘just relax’ type but she pointed out that a long period of infertility after multiple loses isn’t unusual. No one knows why or what the mechanism is but it is as if the body just gives up - she feels that if we hadn’t ‘forced’ the issue with the IVF cycle it would be unlikely that this pregnancy would have happened. She reiterated what Lesley Reagan & the m/c centre in Canada had found that for us unexplained recurrent losers a very high levels of involvement and monitoring (betas/scans etc) can improve outcome dramatically.  

I’m seeing the high risk obstetrician next week, I’m trying to put together a list of concerns - other than the obvious I’m fucking terrified & all that’s going to make me feel better is a guarantee of a live baby - this being the NHS it is unlikely that they’ll be offering much. What I’m worried about:

  • clefting (from the steroids) 
  • placental insufficiency & IUGR
  • pre eclampsia - my BP has been okay this time but I’m already getting some foot swelling
  • my cervix & PROM

Of course this still maybe a completely academic exercise - I have another scan on Tuesday.