I’ve been pretty good with the doppler, I use it probably 2 out of 3 days (in secret because we haven’t told C anything). Every single time I pick it up I have a flash of fear, not wanting to know that there’s anything wrong, most of the time I am temporarily reassured that it is all okay.
The heart rate was 178 at 9 weeks (fine according to this), since then it as steadily decreased (again okay I think) through the 160s, then the 150s and last week the 140s. This morning when I checked it was 131 - which fucking terrified me - what if it doesn’t stop decreasing? Will it stop all together? I keep reading that the normal range is 120-160, the mean is 145 with a range of about 25 bpm either side, fetal bradycardia is defined as moderate below 110bmp and severe below 100bmp. So 130 is fine, but I want it to be average though, I want 145 - it has become my talisman. Anyway I spent the morning googling ‘early fetal bradycardia’ (heart block, AV malformations, tetrology of Fallot, maternal autoimmune disease, chronic hypoxia, aneuploidies), drank a can of coke, did the laundry … and listened again 138, then 143, then 147. Poor kid.
Doesn’t really help that my mum said it was slow & it is probably a boy - boys aren’t favoured by my extended family - she doesn’t get how completely uninterested in the sex I am. I mean the hubris to assume that I could have a preference.
I’m also freaking about the size of its head.
