C & I went to my uncle’s wedding yesterday, it was exhausting - travelling, making small talk, the usual family stuff, standing around for hours - I feel so drained today. C is being very difficult, emotional & clingy.

The DBTs are so strong now, the last week or so has been the scariest of any pregnancy I’ve had. I’m not sleeping properly, every morning I wake up and think that the baby has just disappeared. I have six days until the big anomaly scan & I’ve been running through every bad scenario in my head, I’m truly terrified.

I still don’t look pregnant (19 weeks & a day) & my current obsession is that the baby isn’t growing at all.

I hate pregnancy, I am really, really bad at it.