I saw my midwife yesterday - standard antenatal stuff, BP, urine, fetal heart, FBC & measure the fundus (a whopping 26cm so I’m officially large for dates & will probably need a GTT in a couple of weeks). We agreed that I didn’t need the extra scan since the private one that I had done was a hell of a lot more thorough than the NHS version, so I cancelled that today.

This morning I had to go into the pit that is Toys’r'us to buy my niece a birthday present & I bought something baby related. I picked up & put it down & walked to and from the till with it about six times before I handed over the plastic. A baby gown - my reasoning being they are really hard to find anymore (I much prefer them to rompers/sleepsuits for newborns) and anyway if he dies now he’ll need something to be buried in.

I am a fuck up.