I’m seeing my OB this week about starting back on the antidepressants. I haven’t, despite all the shit we’ve been through over the last year, felt that I’ve needed them for a couple of years now.
I’m not coping at all - my fear is completely overwhelming. I read the blogs of other pregnant infertiles/RPLers and it seems that my anxiety is in a whole different universe. I don’t have any happy moments, I cry (sobbing) frequently through the day (I’ve had two episodes recently where I’ve been driving & unable to stop crying, it isn’t safe), if I haven’t felt the baby move for ten minutes I am sure that he has died. I’m short tempered, irritable & can’t sleep, my concentration is non existent and I find it impossible to engage with people. Pretty classic depression symptoms really.
What’s more is that it is getting worse, as I edge towards 28 weeks I find myself almost wishing that I’d PROM or start contracting. I feel that this baby would be much safer in an incubator in SCBU than inside me. I’ve worked in SCBU, I know what shite that is but I am so scared.
