Autumn has arrived faster than I expected. It’s cold, I’m knitting gloves & socks, I have a pile of yarn for jumpers. Our only heating is the wood burning stove but it’s too early for that now.
Claudia is out today, riding with her frinds, she’ll be wet & tired when she gets home. Jasper has a cold, he’s spent most of the day sitting with me on the sofa, watching Maisy & eating toast.
I’ve cried today - partly because C isn’t here, mostly PMS I think. I don’t know where my period is - I had a tiny bit of spotting on Saturday but nothing since, loads of cramps though. I think my LMP was August 23th? 31 days is a long cycle but not unheard of. I know I’m not pregnant.
I got a confrmation letter from the big univseristy centre this morning … you know I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be weighed & measured & have my BP taken, I don’t want to give more blood. I don’t want to be patronized. I just want to be left alone right now.
An IF blogger who’s daughter shared Jasper’s due date is pregnant, I revisited her blog yesterday. She’s having a boy, she’s so hopeful.
I’m so sad.
