Stopped countingOctober 31, 2008 11:08 am
God I’m so sick. I really don’t want to do this again.
I’ve been feeling unsettled since the scan, the numbers don’t add up to me.
1st scan was at 6w6 and crl was 11.5mm, at the same gestation J was 8.8mm - I’m sure they over measured by a couple of mm at least.
2nd scan was 8w6 and crl was 21.5mm, from memory I’m fairly sure J at 9w1 day was 24mm & was measuring a couple of days ahead. Estella at 9w6 (from EC) was 21.2mm which the FMC dated at 9 weeks.
So 21mm is fine for 9 weeks & they were inaccurate with the first scan.
I’m feeling scared because the measurement is so close to Stella’s - which is just superstitious.
And silly.
None of this really means anything but I need to get it out of my head.
Stopped counting 3:22 pm
Well by my ovulation dates I’m 8+6 today, I’m sticking to the LMP dates in the hope that if we get to a live-baby-delivery scenario we’ll get it out a few days early.
It’s still there & alive - didn’t measure heart rate but it is beating. CRL was fine for 9 weeks exactly which is good? Except it is only 10mm longer than last time (14 days ago), embryos (feti?) are supposed to grow a mm a day at this stage. And yes I am worrying about it.
With the first scan they warned me the measurement was inaccurate (they tend to over measure) because it was abdominal not vaginal & it was measuring 3 or 4 days bigger than I expected. So probably it’s fine.
Probably.
Stopped countingOctober 24, 2008 5:40 pm
I’m nine weeks today, three days until the next scan. I have no idea what’s going on in there - this pregnancy is completely atypical. I’m miserable, missing Toby desperately. Scared. Really must be mad to do this to myself. Have no one to talk to.
Stopped countingOctober 16, 2008 4:26 pm
It was three months on Tuesday which coincided (nicely?) with infant loss day on Wednesday. I was going to write something about healing & learning lessons etc but I can’t there’s still just too much stuff in my head.
I had a scan on Monday (7w3 by LMP closer to 6w4 by possible ovulation dates) - there’s a something in there, heart beat, 11mm fetal pole (apparently, it was a TA scan, I think the sonographer measured it too big). Have another scan on the 27th. If the something is still there I might think about what it all means.
Don’t really have any symptoms - usually puking by this point but nausea is manageable. Think I’ve exceeded my trauma limit & my brain has shut down.
Stopped countingOctober 1, 2008 7:59 am
Started the progesterone last night, I’m worried that it will just turn a miscarriage into a missed miscarriage. I always wonder with Stella what would’ve happened if I hadn’t have been so heavily medicated, would it have just ended sooner.
I feel pregnant now, breast pain and some nausea, although I suspect the prednisolone is keeping it at bay.
I’ve been spotting for two days. There’s nothing to do, midwife says if it gets heavy or painful to call the emergency GP for an urgent referral to the EPU. I have no childcare so I don’t think that’s going to happen.
I’m feeling utterly hopeless. Why does this happen? What the hell is wrong with me?
