Stopped countingDecember 9, 2008 10:55 am

Fast foward please

The scan yesterday was fine, the baby appears to be growing well & I’m approaching 16 weeks. I have another scan in 2 weeks but I’m already feeling anxious.

It is hard to check the hb with the children around, I don’t want them to know yet.

We visited Toby’s grave last week and took him some flowers. It was sad. There are eight new babies buried there now :(

It’s a scary time. I want to make it through the next few weeks, we last heard Toby’s heart beat at 15+6, at 16+1 it wasn’t there. I’m 15+4 today.

Even if we get past that milestone it doesn’t mean anything - there was no reason for Toby to die at 16 weeks, there’s no reason for this one not to die either.

Very weird - trying to believe it can be different.

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Stopped countingDecember 4, 2008 11:41 am

Part two

15 weeks tomorrow & decided to stay on the cyclogest through the second trimester (worried about PROM).

For a week or so I’ve thought I felt movement, but not anymore - which means

1 - I imagined it

2 - I didn’t imagine it & baby is in some odd position I can’t feel

3 - I didn’t imagine it & baby is dead

(obviously I’m convinced it is the third option, baby was fine on Tuesday - which means nothing at all).

Next scan is on Monday, I’m not sure what to do about childcare & whether to ask Simon to come with me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

7+3 - okay

9+3 - okay

12+6 - okay

13+3 - okay

14+4 - okay 

15+3 - ???? 

I caved -  14+6 - hb still there.

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